What to Say??

“If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” “Think before you speak.” We teach these sayings to our kids. We want them to grow up and be polite, well-mannered human beings, right?

Somewhere along the lines, we tend to forget that. We say what we want to say and forget about how it sounds or what we are actually saying to someone else.

I have absolutely no problem talking to someone about Reagan’s medical conditions, all you have to do is ask me about it! I am an open book, I want to help other people who might be in the same situation, or just want to learn more. However, the way the questions come out sometimes irk me. Reagan was less than two months old when she got her glasses. I know that it’s unusual for a baby to be wearing glasses. I expected there to be odd looks, random people staring, and of course questions. These are some comments/questions that I have received:

“Is she slow?”

“What’s wrong with her?”

“What else is wrong with her?”

“Are those glasses for fashion?”

“Does she have other problems?”

These questions have been asked by co-workers and strangers that just walked up to us. Now, I do not think that any of these questions were asked in a mean way, at least I want to believe people aren’t that cruel. I just think that people don’t hear what they are really saying or asking. We were in Target when a woman walked up to me and asked, “What’s wrong with her?” I simply replied, “Nothing, what’s wrong with you?” and walked away. I would like to believe that my response back made an impact on that woman and how she talks to strangers, but I will never know?

I work with the general public and have conversations with strangers daily. My personal life and experiences with strangers has made me more conscientious of how I talk to people. I have seen other babies and kids with glasses. I ALWAYS start out by either telling that child, or their parent how cute they look with their glasses on. (I am a sucker when it comes to babies with glasses!) Then I go into letting them know about my daughter with glasses… Then I ask questions.

Please, don’t ever ask someone what’s wrong with them or their child.

I like to ask how they figured out their child needed glasses?

Let’s all go back to thinking about what we are going to say before we say it, and if we can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.